Phil Mickelson’s stunning win at the PGA Championship was truly epic. As the oldest golfer to win a major championship, he should inspire all of us who are over 50 and still believe there is champion within. “There’s no reason why you can’t be at your best when you are older,” Phil said.  “You just have to work a little harder, take better care of yourself, and be more disciplined.”  

It’s the doing a little more that’s the problem. So many golfers want the competitive edge through tinkering with the latest driver or putter.  It’s not tinkering that makes the difference. Where does the reach come from to step up and touch the edge of your potential?  It comes from training your inner champion.

“I’ve been taking more time to believe I could win, to focus, and to being present to my shot,” he revealed. Those three words:  belief, focus, and presence are the separators, especially for the senior golfer.

Think about it. What do you lose when you age?  Belief in yourself, the ability to focus, and to be present in the moment.  While your contemporaries are naturally “getting older,” it is completely possible to swim upstream and train yourself in those three areas to actually perform your best.

Sports psychologist Dr. Michael Lardon states, “Peak athletic performance is more about state—the competitor’s level of consciousness and ability to handle a given situation—than it is about trait, or some innate physical or mental wiring…you can learn to find the zone.”  

I think everyone should learn to find the zone before they die!  One of the greatest thrills in my life was winning my first senior championship several years ago by 13 shots!  I trained myself through a simple practice of getting still to quiet my mind.  I became conscious of what “being still” felt like, first off the course, then on.  I daily practiced the art of getting still until it became as conscious to me as making a full shoulder turn on my backswing.  In fact, I refuse to play any other way.

Anybody at any age can release their inner champion through learning how to focus inwardly and meditate.  That brings up yet another consideration:  Are you open and willing to learn? Do you believe you can get better as you age?

Dr. Carol Dweck, PhD, wrote a best-selling book called Mindset: The New Psychology of Success.  She describes how you can change your mindset to fulfill your potential.  Essentially, there are two types of mindsets, the fixed mindset and the growth mindset.

One who has a fixed mindset believes he has been dealt a certain amount of ability and that’s it.  It can not be expanded, so he has to prove that he is successful because there is no room for growth.  A person with a growth mindset believes she can develop her abilities.  She seeks out challenges.  In fact, she thrives on them.   

Phil epitomizes the growth mindset.  Recently on social media, Phil wrote, “I’ve failed many times in my life and career and because of this, I have learned a lot.  Instead of feeling defeated countless times, I’ve used it as fuel to drive me to work harder.  So today, join me in accepting our failures.  Let’s use them to motivate us to work even harder.” 

What do you say we all get on board with Phil?  I am.  He so inspired me that I decided to enter qualifying for the Senior Women’s Open at the tender age of sixty-something.  While I have learned to play from stillness, I wonder what I can do if I can just fix that one part of my swing?  I have to find out!

If you would like to re-fire your inner belief, expand your ability to focus, and learn how to play from stillness and presence, please reach out to me.  I train golfers how to find the zone.  

And in honor of Phil’s win and Father’s Day, please enjoy a $50 savings on my on-line self-study course, The Champion’s Way: Core Foundations for Achieving Peak Performance in Sports and Life.  Visit truechampionacademy.com and use the coupon code FH5AP9A at checkout. 

Join me on the road to championship. Let’s join Phil at the top!

“Daddy, Daddy, let’s go play golf!”  The snow had finally begun to melt one early January morning with the temperature just peeking above 38 degrees.  I had just received the best Christmas gift a young girl who loved golf could receive:  new golf clubs!  There was nothing more I wanted to do than tee it up with my dad.  It would be our very first time to play together.  

While I had to beg him to make the forty-five minute trip from Pittsburgh to Latrobe Elks Golf Club in the winter weather, he agree to make the trip.  

Dad was the one who placed a putter in my hand when I was five years old. He entered me into pee wee putting contests for the next nine years.  When he would go play for four hours, I would putt for four hours straight, even as a six-year old.  I was now taking up the whole game for the first time at fourteen.  I couldn’t wait to get going!

Upon arriving at the course, I didn’t care that there were patches of snow everywhere.  Back then, there was no such thing as colored golf balls.  Part of the fun of teeing it up with my dad for the first time was not only chasing the ball, but finding the ball!

We both hacked it around for nine holes, but we had a great time!  Our bad swings and scores didn’t matter.  We were together, enjoying a game we both loved and could now do it together.

I couldn’t wait to play with Dad again. Unfortunately, my first game of golf with my dad would be my last.  Shortly thereafter, he was diagnosed with cancer and died nine months later.  

I still remember that day on the course with Dad almost fifty years later.  I would give up all my trophies for one more round with Daddy.

While I have since found great joy in a spiritual journey with my Heavenly Father on the course, I do possess a unique perspective that I carry into my coaching practice as a result of that very great loss.  I call it “performance from relationship.”

Golf is a deeply connective sport relationally to oneself, to nature, to others, and to God.  There are many ways you can grow relationally through the sport. Here are some suggestions:

First, if you have kids who play competitively, make sure you create a memory at each tournament or during each trip.  What good is it if you spend a lot of time, money, and effort to play in a tournament and go home mad or upset, thinking that the game is the most important thing. It is not.  It is the relationship!

Second, since the conversation is the relationship, always make sure you have a good conversation during your round if it is social. If it is competitive, have a good debriefing conversation after the round.  Working through a competition via a hearing heart and mind builds connection with one another.  Husbands, if you are playing a game with your wife, don’t teach, encourage!  The number one conversation killer is giving unsolicited advice!

Third, determine what kind of game you are playing.  If you are competitive and are playing a social round, adjust your expectations.  Make connection a greater value than performance.

Fourth, take a moment to “be” on the course. Look around you at the beautiful creation.  As Phil Mickelson said, “Golf is a meditation.”  Connect with your Creator.  Send up some gratitude.

Fifth, if you are in a parent-child caddying situation, talk about how you want to relate to one another on the course.  I had one player who demanded her mom stand behind a tree on the course.  It brought the mom pain.  We talked about it. I asked the junior golfer how she wanted her mom to show up. She said it would be most helpful to have her mom stand behind the green and hand her the water bottle and snacks between holes.  The mom became participatory rather than separated. The daughter became empowered.

After working out the relationship dynamics, the daughter went on to win every single competition she had for the next two months. The mom was joyful to be in the game with her daughter in a connective way.

On this Father’s Day, let’s do the most important thing. Let’s love the game.  Let’s love and honor one another even more.  Happy Father’s Day!

I am a golfer through and through.  Even now and then, however, I like to venture over to other sports to see how they play their game.  The NCAA Championship final between Baylor and Gonzaga was my cross-over trip to basketball.

It’s not that I’m a stranger to basketball.  As an official Duke alumnus, I am a die-hard Blue Devil.  There’s nothing that gives me more pleasure than seeing Duke beat the tarheel out of Carolina. Since they fell out of the heat early on, however, I had no real incentive to be engaged other than to see what I could learn from two teams battling it out in the heat for the national title.

My first thought in tuning in was, “Where the heck is Gonzaga?”  My second thought was, “Where did they get a name like that?”  Answer:  Spokane, Washington.  Gonzaga was named after an Italian Jesuit, St. Aloysius Gonzaga.  Okay, that now makes sense, at least somewhat.

I was impressed with the strength and force of the Baylor Bears. They started racking up points right out of the gate.  I’m sure it felt like making a birdie on the first hole of a tournament.  Every golfer has experienced what it is like to spiral down, hitting multiple bad shots after an opening bad shot.  It’s also possible to spiral up, scoring multiple good shots after a great opening shot or score.  Baylor kept spiraling up the entire game.

I became intrigued with the descriptions of the various plays.  In golf, we have “hitting it out of bounds,” and “swinging over-the-top.” Jordan Spieth said of his Texas win and getting into contention, “You put yourself in that position enough times, the bounces will go your way.”

Ahh…now there’s a cross-over concept.  The announcers kept talking about “getting to the open spot.”  In other words, you have to find the position on the court to take a shot.  An open space.  A clear unobstructed opportunity to score….where the bounces go your way.  

As a performance coach, I am always helping my players “get to the open spot.”  The phrase has many meanings.  It can mean putting yourself in contention to win.  Positioning yourself to score.  It also can mean finding a place physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually where you are free and clear to perform absent of obstructions, both external and internal.

For instance, many times in coaching a competitive junior golfer, I have to help parents back off emotionally. If a player is to call his own shot, he has to have the space in his head and heart to do so. If a parent is taking up that space with their words and emotion, it closes down “the open spot.”

If a beginner is so focused on her swing mechanics and worried that she is holding someone up on the fairway, she is not getting to her “open spot.”

If a competitor is so focused on what his opponent is doing that he cannot focus on his shot at hand, he is not getting to his “open spot.”

In coaching a young pro recently, he had to bring closure to a personal relationship that was not working for him.  Once he did, it opened up space emotionally and mentally for him to now take a bigger shot at winning. He found his open spot.

While Baylor’s shot-making, command of the court, and being in the flow clearly out-performed Gonzaga, there was another factor that came into play that set them apart.  I saw it on the face of their coach, Scott Drew.  It was the presence of joy.  “We advocate a culture of joy.”  WOW!  Joy is the highest positive emotion there is.  Joy opens you up to new possibilities. It cancels out negativity.  It positions you to live in the highest realm.  What happens when you hit a great shot?  You light up with joy.  To live in joy is to produce the highest outcome, regardless of the reality of your situation.  You are posturing yourself emotionally to get to your open spot.  Joy was a separator in Baylor’s winning the championship.

There are many factors involved in performance. Whether on or off the court, whether in basketball or golf, or walking down the fairway of life, get to your open spot.  It’s your time to win.

Every now and then I surprise myself with accomplishing an unexpected goal.  It happened again just a few weeks ago.  It was also accompanied by some much-needed unexpected wisdom…from an inchworm.

The day started when my friend Ann Fields and I decided to check out the Dog Show at the Harness Track.  A dog-lover, I always like seeing furry friends showing off with their best coat and stride.  Afterwards, we decided to venture over to Uwharrie National Forest for a hike.

“It’s a 3 mile circuit,” Ann said. Somehow, we arrived at another entrance. “There’s no circuit at this entrance. It’s a 3 mile straight-away path.” Ann explained.

Undaunted, I immediately blurted out, “Let’s hike six miles!” I had no idea what I was getting into.  Having just shed my Florida residence, it has been years since I’ve experience actual hills.  The closet I encountered hills in Florida was at Reunion Resort playing in the Florida Women’s Open. They weren’t actually hills, but rather jacked up undulations which reminded me of an infestation of mumps.  You’d hit a good shot and have to stand side-ways to hit your next shot.  It’s the closest I’ve felt to being a mountain goat.  

I admit, it has been a while since I set a goal well beyond my comfort zone.  We did have a strategy of stopping whenever we petered out to rest and refuel.  About the 2.5 mile marker, I was huffing and puffing up a steep incline.  The advantage of walking with an exercise partner is that you can encourage one another to keep going, so we did.

At one point, we both petered out.  Finding a suitable log, we sat down to enjoy our last snack.  Then Ann noticed a neon green inchworm heading her way.  The little critter was the only bug we encountered in our entire walk, so we found it interesting to study it while catching our breath. 

We first noticed how nimble it was.  Every time it took a step, it bent entirely in half, taking a complete down-dog yoga move. It must have had a monthly membership at Hot Asana Yoga Studio. As long as it was traveling in a straight line, it kept going at its speed-limit.  When it reached the end of a stick, it stopped to assess its options—every time.  It looked all the way to the left, then swung around its upper torso all the way to right.  After considering all options, it made a decision and moved forward.  Not once did it hesitate or move backwards.

In about ten minute’s time, it was almost at Ann’s foot.  We wondered what it would do when it encountered a foreign substance, like hiking boot rubber.  The inch worm didn’t waver.  It stopped to assess its options, this time taking a few more seconds, as it considered making its largest leap yet onto new territory.  Without skipping a beat, it took the leap onto Ann’s shoe!  

We realized we had just been offered some much-needed wisdom from one of nature’s most unassuming critters.  During our hike, we talked about many things, like the need to have more mentors in our lives to help with carving out future plans.  We even prayed about direction.  Then we met the inch worm which offered us some wisdom from above, or should I say, from the earth, to inform our path:

While it took us 3 hours to complete the 6 miles, we were thrilled to make the journey.  My calves were sore for three days following, but I was so happy to push myself to the edge of my potential.  I also saw how true accomplishment produces happiness. It’s a fruit of making progress. Sometimes all it takes is a walk with a friend, some encouragement to keep going, and an encounter with an unassuming inchworm to forge ahead with positivity.

I still prefer dogs, but marvel at the wisdom of a little critter hidden in the leaves on our 6 mile hike.  It was instructive to me. Maybe it will be for you, too, especially if you need incentive to keep going. 

Remember, inch by inch, it’s a sinch!

The spirit of championship is in full swing this week in Pinehurst.  The National High School State Championship, the Webb Simpson Challenge, and the Men’s North-South have attracted competitors and their families from all over the world.  

I had to check out all the action. As I made my field trip to the various tournament sites, I met a lot of people.  I also made some interesting observations regarding my fellow compadres on the road to championship.

My first observation is that the road to championship is wide and long.  Many can travel on it at all different speeds.  Just today, I met a West Virginia father and son at Mike’s Subs. He just finished up the NHSGA championship. He didn’t do that great. However, his dad was quick to point out, “He’s a swimmer.  Golf is what he does on the off season.  He just won a scholarship to a D3 school to swim.” While the dad would have preferred that golf was his son’s first love, he was happy he was in the game.  Perhaps their father-son round on Pinehurst #2 tomorrow will provide some incentive to increase his son’s love of the game.

Then there was the high school golfer who was all in the game but defeated after his first round.  I met him at Pine Needles on the driving range.  “How did you do?” I asked.  “Not good. I lost my swing and I’m trying to find it. Desperate, he was on the phone trying to reach his swing coach for help.”  Too bad we don’t have metal detectors to help us recover more things lost, like swings. Can they really be lost that quickly? Yep.

I had to take a break to keep my practice going for the Senior Women’s U.S. Open Qualifier, as I, too, am on the road to championship.  Playing a round at Mid Pines, I met Robb and James, two brothers from states south.  Their championship was playing 150 holes in 3 days without collapsing.  It’s a yearly thing for them. I never met two guys who semi-hacked it around but never once reacted to a bad shot. They weren’t even under the influence of alcohol. They were just enjoying some sibling company—a family championship.

I decided to pursue a championship this summer for my own reasons.  Fighting against some feelings of depression while slugging it out to find a home here, I thought some added focus and movement would prove helpful.  After a few lessons and a “daily press forward,” I am making impressive progress. Who would have thought depression would be such a great motivator to rise up and compete?

During a chat with one of the North-South players, I discovered he was once the #1 ranked junior golfer in the world.  He then regressed.  He is pressing forward, too, to make a comeback on the road to championship.

Even the best struggle.  We all have our way of preparation, our moments of victory and defeat.  The road to championship can be rocky one day and laced with glory the next.  The path is mysterious. Ask John Rahm about that one.  I believe the road to championship is also a deeply spiritual one.  

Who can explain how my new friend, Johnathan Yaun, shot a record-breaking 28 on the front nine of Pinehurst #2 last year during the North-South where he finished third. From the standard scorecard, he had eight birdies on the nine.  The Liberty University standout made history.  He deserves a trophy for that accomplishment alone.  He certainly gained a shout-out from me!

I had the chance to ask him what the experience was like. “It was definitely an outer-body experience.  It was supernatural.  I was seeing the putts go in that I was not used to seeing. The only way I could have shot that score was through the grace of God. Each day I came to the course, I dedicated my game to the Lord. I wasn’t about me at all that week.  It was about serving others.  I trusted that He would lead and guide me in my score. I played by faith and accepted everything that came my way because I knew it was all in God’s hands.  I had no need to control outcomes. As a result, I found myself playing beyond myself.”

Wow. Even God is on the road to championship with us.  

Whether you won or lost this week, or fell somewhere in-between, be encouraged.  The road to championship in all its ups and downs is the same for all.  So give yourself a hug.  Go jump in a pool. Splash around. Then tee it up again. Know you are loved and are not alone on the road to championship!

Exactly thirteen years ago, on December 22, my mother passed away.  While it would be easy to think that Christmas time for me would then be both a time of celebration and sadness, the opposite is quite true.  It is a double time of celebration.  Mom went out with a bang.  Golf had a lot to do with it.

She started the game a bit late in life.  When she was eighty-five years old, I handed her an 8 iron and told her to take a swing.  The command from her enthusiastic daughter was not without prior frustration.  Mom had lost hope for living.  All her siblings had passed away and she was leaning towards a deathful disposition herself.  Given the announcement that she had about six months to live with a terminal heart condition, I had to act fast.  I wanted to make sure I could help her in this last season of her life to finish strong all the way to her finish line, whatever that was.

My life-coaching certification helped me to believe there was always an angle to reach a person. Where did I need to begin with Mom?  She was a cantankerous old woman set in her ways.  A Depression-era child, she adopted suffering as a motto for life. Playing games was “non-essential.”  She would say to me, “Golf is stupid!”  That is, until I placed that 8 iron in her hand.  

After showing her the grip, she immediately proceeded to waggle the club. “Mom!” I exclaimed.  “Where did you get that waggle?  I don’t waggle the club!”  “Oh, that’s how the pros do it!” Mom retorted with a confident chuckle.  “You’ve been watching too much Tiger Woods on television, Mom!” I laughed back with eyes wide open.

After she settled into her shot like any natural athlete would do, she took a big backswing with an impressive turn of her shoulders.  She then swung down with force making contact right in the sweet spot.  WHACK!  The ball went sailing almost 100 yards with her 8 iron on her first try!

“Mom!” I exclaimed with gleeful disbelief.  “I thought I got it from Dad.  Here I am forty years later, stumbling upon a revelation that I got my golf ability from you!”  Joy was sparking.  I set another ball down as we were both now in a state of total anticipation of the next shot.

“Whack!”  Mom sent her second well-struck ball sailing through the air. Enter the miracle moment:  Mom looked at me in the spark of a resurrected spirit. This woman, who wanted to die—and was given a six-month death sentence---rose up from the grave with fresh fire in her eyes as she commanded me, “Put another ball down!” 

After proceeding to strike her third ball almost 100 yards, I knew my 25-year prayer to make a fresh connection with my mom was answered.  We were gifted with a perfect friendship on the golf course.   Whenever our relationship got tense off the course, I’d say to her, “Mom, let’s just go to the golf course.”  We’d both get in our own lane with our own swing.  Our eyes would shift outward toward the target and the beauty around us, as opposed to looking at one another.  By the time our game was over, we had forgotten what we were fighting about.

It was through the game of golf that Mom connected to her dormant wiring as an athlete.  It was through the game that she connected with herself. It was that connection that stimulated life.  I began to see that it was a much better strategy to help her live well as opposed to helping her to die well.  The shift from a defensive posture to an offensive posture of “creating life” helped extend her life almost seven more years.

During that time, we filled the cup with more than golf to include precious memory collecting I never had growing up.  Mom blossomed in developing her gifts and talents at the same time she was supposedly dying.

At 88, I helped her start a house-cleaning business. At 89, she started public speaking.  At 90, she entered her first golf tournament, the Grandma Open.  At 91, she died my best friend.

This Christmas season, when I look back at that first memory of connecting Mom to golf, herself, and to me, there’s no way I can be sad.  I can only smile with sheer joy as I dip into my cup of memories.

I wrote a book about our journey called My Shot of Joy: A Miraculous Journey of Redeeming a Lost Mother-Daughter Relationship. I wrote it to inspire others, like you, that there’s always an angle to reach another person or to get a fresh start. With all that we as a nation have been through this year, maybe, just maybe, it’s Mom’s turn to be the instructor.

All you have to do is to be willing to: “Put another ball down!”

Every now and then, I meet a true champion, someone whose impact upon my life never fades away, even years after meeting that person. A true champion is someone who impresses you more about who they are than about what they score.  I met such a person in ten year old Alyssa Getty.

I first met Alyssa and her mother Michelle at Whispering Pines Country Club many years ago.  They were here for the U.S. Kids Championship and attended a True Champion workshop I was conducting at the time.  Afterwards, Alyssa’s mom was eager for me to coach Alyssa in the principles of peak performance, so we went to work right away.  

During the course of our initial coaching conversation, it was evident that ten year old, Alyssa, was an independent thinker.  I only asked her mom to chime in if she could not answer a question.  As I moved through my process of inquiry as to how I could help her become fully engaged in her preparation and play, some things became clear.  “I get tired after 16 holes, lose focus and have trouble finishing,” she said.  Discovering she did not like to drink water on the course, I talked about the importance of hydration and nutrition for endurance.  

Even with fixing the endurance issue nutritionally, I had to get her to re-engage mentally and emotionally.  “What’s your higher purpose for playing?”  I asked.  “Nobody ever asked me that question before,” she replied.  “That’s because it’s a spiritual question and not many people address the spiritual component to performance,” I explained. 

Not knowing how to play with a higher purpose, I offered a suggestion.  “One of the ways you can play with a higher purpose is to play in honor of someone.”  She thought for a moment and said, “My grandmother has cancer. I will do birdies for Grandma!”  She looked at her mom and they both smiled. “Great!” I replied.  “You are going to dedicate holes 17 and 18 in particular to making birdies for Grandma.  That way you will be very intentional about remaining focused for the whole round.”

“Now what is your overall goal for the championship?” “I want to finish in the top ten!” she exclaimed.  “You can do that and more,” I affirmed, as we marched off to the chipping green to expand her repertoire of chip shots.  I could tell just by the way she walked and the confidence she exuded that she was a champion.

I did not have to tell her twice what to do or think.  She immediately put into practice what we talked about, and even wrote it down on index cards to remind herself what her inner focus was during both her practice and competitive rounds.

It was thrilling to see Alyssa birdie holes 17 and 18 for Grandma and finish 6th in the championship! 

Three years later, at 13, she qualified for the Canadian Women’s Open, the equivalent of our national Open.  Her grandfather died that week.  Instead of being devastated, and becoming disengaged, guess what she did?  Birdies for Grandpa!  At 13, Alyssa finished in the top 50 in her country’s national championship.

She so internalized the true champion process that in the moment of a life crisis, she fully engaged her spirit to create a peak performance.  

Her legacy lives on, forever etched in my memory, of a remarkable young girl, now a young woman, who just won another junior championship in Canada.  Alyssa is a great player who has learned to score on the course and in the bigger game of life.  Now that’s a true champion!